Thursday, 23 May 2013

#BEDM Day 23: Compliments

Today's post is all about the best compliment we've ever received, something I'm really struggle writing about. For as long as I can remember I have never been very good accepting compliments. Some people have said that it's a very British quality where as other have told me that it's an issue only girls seem to have. Personally I think it's a combination of a few things.

Firstly, no one wants to appear to be arrogant or big headed. While I agree that arrogance is not exactly a desirable quality it's important to be able to accept compliments and also acknowledge when you're good at something. And let's face it, it is so annoying when someone who is obvious talented or attractive etc. spends most of their time telling people how useless or ugly they are. There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance, we need to remember that and find our own balance.

Obviously there are people who generally don't believe the compliments they receive and that is really sad. It's hard to accept a compliment when you don't see and reality in it. I know I have been guilty of this many times and it's something I'm trying to work on. Even if you can't understand why someone is giving you a compliment it doesn't mean that they don't truly believe in what they're saying. It's a hard thing to accept, but it can really help boost your confidence.

Over the last year or so I've been trying to get better at accepting compliments but I'm still noticing that I find it a lot easier in certain areas of my life than others. For example, when I was told that my dissertation was very interesting or that my adviser liked my style of writing I was more than happy to accept the compliments and even discussed what I was writing about in more detail. However when one of the managers at work said that my hair looked nice I shrugged off the comment saying that I was just too lazy to brush my hair that morning.

Despite being really self conscious about my intelligence and spending far too much time worrying if people think I'm stupid, I've always been reasonably confident in my academic ability and as such have never really struggled to accept compliments in that part of my life. When it comes to my appearance, however, I've always found it very difficult to accept and even believe the compliments that people have given me. This is incredibly frustrating as I find it annoying when the people I compliment refuse to accept what I tell them. Nevertheless it's something I've been working on and the more I read about self promotion and being confident in yourself the easier I find accepting compliments as opposed to assuming that they're all lies.

But back to the point of today's post, what is the best complement I've ever received?

Honestly it's a difficult question to answer. For me, people actually reading what I write on this blog is a huge compliment. I never except people to read what I write, let alone interact with it, so every time someone reads this blog or posts a comment I feel so honoured. It sounds like a bit of a cliché, I know, but when you think about how many blogs are out there and how much time people invest in reading them it's pretty scary to think that some people actually think that your little corner of the internet is worth visiting.

I'd love to know what the best or most touching compliment you've ever received is. Do you find it hard to receive them or can you accept compliments and appreciate them for what they are?  



Wednesday, 22 May 2013

#BEDM Day 22: 13 Year Old You

For today's Blog Every Day in May challenge I'm writing a letter to my thirteen year old self way back in 2003, this could be interesting.


Dear Jodie,

It's now 2013, and a decade on you're a very different person than you are now. I'm not really sure where to begin; as you get older your perspectives about what is important are really going to change and looking back at what you think is important now will soon seem so trivial.

I don't want to tell you too much about the future and what life has in store for you over the next ten years, but here is some advice to help you along the way and a few hints to what 2013 holds.

Firstly, it's ok for someone not to like you. I know you like to please people and want everyone to like you but let's face the facts, that's never going to happen. There is always going to be someone who doesn't agree with your beliefs or someone who doesn't like the way you do things and that's ok. You can't please everyone so don't waste you're time trying to make everyone happy, the only person's happiness you'll compromise is your own. 

On a similar note, learn how to say no. People are walking over you all of the time because they know you'll let them. Of course it's nice to help people out and try and go the extra mile but you don't have to do that all of the time. You know how you always spend the last ten minutes of your lunch break finding your friends' bags? You don't have to do that every day! Yes it's being nice but it's not your job. It will take a long time for you to realise it, but you don't always have to say yes; people won't think any less of you if you say no everyone once and a while.

You also need to learn to respect yourself. High School is tough at the best of times and unfortunately so is the real world. People are always ready to criticise others and more often than not, themselves as well. If you want to change little bits of yourself that's fine but have respect for who you are and learn to love what you've got, it will make life a lot easier in the long run.

Now, it's probably time to mention boys. You're thirteen and no doubt wondering when your first boyfriend will come along and how magical the whole thing will be. You're going to have your first boyfriend later than a lot of your friends, but don't worry it will happen. I'm not going to tell you much about it except that you must treat it as a learning curve. You'll learn a lot about yourselves and the people closest to you, so as much as you might want to change things later there is no need to regret anything; it's made me who I am today and one day you'll understand that.

My final piece of advice is to stop seeing your studies as a means to an ends, they're and end in their own right. This may seem hard to understand now but the sooner you accept that education doesn't have to be for the purpose of achieving something else, the sooner you'll really begin to appreciate the opportunities that are heading your way.

Before I go I want to leave you with some sneak peaks into the future. Enjoy!


Keep smiling and have faith in your own abilities,

Jodie

p.s. Gizzie is going to be ok, you don't have to worry so much!


If you could write a letter to your thirteen year old self what would you say?



Tuesday, 21 May 2013

To Tan or Not To Tan

Fake Tan Pale Skin Natural Beauty
Image sourced from here.

These days it feels like everywhere you look someone is trying to sell you a new tanning product. Whether it be in the pages of a glossy magazine or a television advert, even in the windows of every high street chemist, tanning products are everywhere.

Until a few days ago, when a group of charming teenagers felt the need to shout at me and  offer some advice on giving my legs a healthy dose of fake tan, I had never really put but thought into tanning products or my relationship with them. Growing up I had a few experiments with tinted moisturisers but that was as far as my involvement with fake tan every went.

I've always had quite fair skin and it had never occurred to me that my lack of a tan was a problem. In the summer I catch the sun on my face and arms but my legs never seem to tan very well, especially in the UK, but applying fake tan to them had never crossed my mind. While I tend not to worry about what teenagers shout at me across the street, this one did get me thinking: should I be using fake tan?

Admittedly this group of people were slightly biased, all proudly modelling a vibrant shade of orange; something that was no doubt found in the bottom of a bottle. But over tanning aside, is having at least some tan a must in today's society?

Working in a department store it's probably of little surprise when I say that most of the people I encounter on a daily basis use at least some tanning products. Leaving working I see endless shop windows and magazines promoting these products and I am struggling to think of the last celebrity I saw photographed with a pale complexion.

On the whole I'm pretty comfortable with my pale and interesting look. I like that I can wear red lipstick which stands out against my skin and that I don't have to worry about streaking or fake tan staining my sheets, but is this aversion to tanning making me an outsider? 

Although it's less of an issue in the winter months, as summer drawers ever closer I'm hearing more people talking about getting their tan ready for their summer wardrobes and I'm frequently asked what self tanner I use. Are people just expected to tan and is being pale really that much of a problem? I don't want to have to avoid summer clothes just because I haven't been building a tan weeks before finally donning my favourite knee length dress but I'm feeling increasingly like that's the expectation: if you haven't got a tan you shouldn't show your legs.

If people want to wear fake tan that's fine by me, but why should everyone else feel like the outsiders purely because they choose to embrace their natural skin tone? I love my summer dresses and now I feel almost scared to wear them in case people judge my pale legs, and that's not ok. I'm not going to change the way I look to keep strangers happy, but I don't want to be harassed every time I leave the house because I refuse to use fake tan.

I'd love to hear what you think on the subject of fake tanning. Is it a must in your beauty regime or are you proud of your pale legs?



#BEDM Day 21: Dream Job

(Image sourced from LauraGarnett.com)

As a child you're always asked what you want to be when you grow up. I can remember my answer changing almost weekly when I decided that my life long dream was to be a vet or a teacher, a singer, a designer, chef and pretty much everything in between. And then something interesting happened. I must have been about eighteen and then all of a sudden my answer was simple "I don't know". At first I hated not knowing what I wanted to be, I had always had something to aim for and then that was gone. I felt really lost but then realised, I could be anything.

It sounds cheesy but since graduating I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do with my life and I guess I still don't have a definitive answer but that's ok. There are so many options out there that choosing just one feels like limiting myself and my possibilities. Instead I've started to think about what I want my dream job to include, so that's what I'm going to talk about today.

Creativity
I've been working in an office job for about eight months now, and although the people are lovely I miss being able to spend my time being creative. Although I have this blog and other hobbies outside of work I struggle to feel enthused about my job when everything is so repetitive and based around following set procedures. I love to write and express myself through various mediums and I want this to be a part of my dream job. 

Travel
Travel has been important to me since a young age and something that I wish I could spend more time doing. In an ideal world I would love for my job to allow me to travel. I'm not looking for a paid holiday but rather a chance to explore new places and see what the world has to offer.

Value
This one is a little tricky to explain, but I want my dream job to feel like I'm doing something that matters. Whether it's working towards global and political change or helping create the perfect day for someone, I want to know that what I do makes a difference to someone. I've worked in so many jobs where I have no sense of value in what I'm doing and for me that's really difficult. If my work can make an impact on one person that's enough to know what I'm doing is worth something.

Knowledge
I love learning. Until September 2012 I had been in education for twenty years of my life and I can honestly say that don't regret a moment of it. Learning new things and discussing new theories and perspectives is so exciting and interesting for me and is something I wish I spent more time doing today. whatever my dream job may be I want to be constantly learning new things.

People
Although I often find myself getting frustrated by customers I love working with people. In my line of retail I find that you're always surrounding by people you're not really working with them but instead around them. I want to get to know people and really talk to them and not just hand them and bag and send them on their way. There are so many interesting people in the world and I want to be able to meet them and learn about their lives.

Reading back through what I've wrote so far, I guess, more than anything I just want to enjoy my work. I'm not sure what shape my dream job will take but if I am passionate about it I really don't care what I'm doing. I want a job where it  is so much more than just a job but something I want to do and not something I have to do. Money isn't that important to me. As long as I have a comfortable life and can afford to live without having to watching every penny I don't feel the need to earning vast sums of money, when you boil it down is the money really worth it if you hate you do to get it?

What is your dream job? Does money matter or is it all about passion?